My dinner in bullet points

Here’s what those recipe writers don’t tell you:

  • that even though you’ve worked a bean-soaking into your busy afternoon, those three batches of organic [read: dirty] kale will take a good twenty minutes to rinse clean and strip from their ribs;
  • that you’ll turn on the smaller oven in order to reheat the farmhouse loaf, only to find the loaf is too tall, requiring you to heat up the larger oven after all;
  • that the smashed red potatoes will require a sum of three pans — one for boiling, one for frying, and one bakesheet for holding the first batch warm in the smaller oven until the stuck-in-traffic husband arrives home (good thing you erroneously warmed the smaller oven in the first place).


They certainly don’t tell you that, by the time dinner’s finally ready (a good 45 minutes after your intended time), you will have dirtied the following:

  • 2 saucepans (1 medium, 1 large)
  • 1 stock pot
  • 1 extra-large frying pan (used twice: once for the kale, second for the potatoes)
  • 2 bakesheets (one for holding the kale while the potatoes cook; the other for holding the first batch of potatoes while the second batch cooks)
  • 1 small Cuisinart bowl & its blade (for pureeing the beans)
  • the underside of a ramekin (for smashing the potatoes)
  • 2 spatulas
  • one cutting board
  • one garlic press
  • one bread knife
  • one grater (for Romano with which to dust the potatoes)
  • and an assembly of little bowls


And the last thing they don’t tell you: That by the time the husband arrives and you get around to sitting down to dinner (you have roughly 15 minutes to eat, mind you, since you have to leave shortly for a class) he will grace you with the irony of your 2-hour kale and Christmas lima bruschetta served with smashed Romano-dusted potatoes.

He will call it beans on toast.

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7 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    felicity said,

    I’m sorry, but I’m so glad that happens to other people too.

  2. 2

    Amy said,

    I love this.

  3. 4

    tiff g. said,

    Ha, I hear your pain. All the work, time, energy…and then to have is summed up as beans on toast. But it did make me laugh, b/c I can hear B saying that!

  4. 5

    sarah said,

    Oh how I can relate. This was great I needed that laugh today.

  5. 6

    Only 45 minutes late? Sounds like a winner! (We routinely eat dinner at 10pm, by which time I should REALLY be in bed.)

  6. 7

    Trisha said,

    Felicity: I’m glad it happens to other people, too! : )

    Lisa: It didn’t sting that bad — he ate it and said it was good, so I s’pose that’s enough!

    Tiff & Sarah: I’m glad it made you laugh. Here’s to not taking ourselves too seriously all the time!

    Camille: I’d die of hunger if I routinely waited that long to eat. I’m glad I have little ones so I’m forced to feed us all early-ish.

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